Allowing Time for Self Care

​As a mom, wife, partner we tend to forget about self care. If we were put on an organization chart we would be on the bottom of it near the couriers. Not to say that couriers are a bad industry to be in but that is usually the last person to exit if working for a company to move to another task. Couriers are totally essential but as a mom – you do that too. Move things or people around. Lets get to the point though – we get tired, and cranky, and sometimes malnourished, with hair shedding and no form of dry shampoo is going to make you satisfied at this point. The more you love yourself the more other people around you are going to get loved. Self care is one of those overused terms I find nowadays – especially during this pandemic I feel like people are just over using it but not bringing enough meaning into it. Self Love is how I look at it. The more you love yourself the more you will be loved as my mom used to say. Its true in many aspects. Really feel that statement. No one can be a continuous train that plummets down its rails, even trains derail if not taken care of so here is my list of “Hacks” that I myself use to make time for self care.

1. Wake up earlier than your kids. An hour is great – you don’t have to be supermom for that to work. I understand that having multiple kids and different ages are a thing… but if a general wake time for them is 6 AM or 7 – you have to make that work. That one hour makes the difference between rushing around going psycho and waking up in serenity and silence that makes you contemplate if everything is ok. If you are having one of “those” mornings where the child was awake all night and you did not get any sleep – well guess what… sleep! Its all ok.. DO what you need to do
2. In order to do #1 you must do #2 – which is Go to sleep an hour after your kids went to sleep. Have a schedule. Ex. Mine go to sleep at 8pm – they have quiet time and they can read until they feel sleepy but after 8pm my shift is done and I have tasks to complete before I get the reward of sleep. In order to wake up an hour earlier in the morning and actually feel refreshed you must go to sleep earlier.
3. Have a stretch and exercise routine. I usually do a body scan in the morning and see what needs to be fixed. Now this is could be a total post on its own but all it is – is start from the top of your head all the way down your body slowly and actually feel what is tense or hurting or stiff. This is not a weight loss exercise routine that I am talking about – unless you feel like you need to. I am talking about a basic 10 to 15 mins for YOUR body awakening and maintenance. This is a self love routine that you must do everyday. YES 365 DAYS a year! I have been doing this for 2 years and even if I have a flight in the morning at 8 am and I have to be at the airport at 5am. I will wake up at 4 AM to make this happen. Your body will thank you for it!
4. Take baths when you can. At least 2 times a month. A bath with Epsom salts remove toxins from your body and relax you muscles. It helps you enter into a zen state of mind. Light some candles, put on some relaxing music and just relax.
5. PLAN – this one is super important – you have to plan your days and remind yourself that its ok to say no. I still work on this one – times get busy, and people ask you for help and to do stuff and you have to train yourself to remember that it is okay to say NO. You are only one person, and the more strain that is Unplanned that you put on yourself then that will rebound on other parts of your life that were planned unintentionally. My trick for this is to have a big monthly calendar very visible where I write my work, and personal life at the same time – THIS IS NOT SEEPRATE because in the end I have to manage both including all the kids stuff. When you visually see that that calendar is filling up including activities on the same day then – NO you cannot squeeze a play date on that same day or a birthday party. Its ok – life goes on. Teach your kids that too – its not the end of the world if you miss a birthday party or a zoom call with a friend on a video game. That will and can be rescheduled so its not a mind overload.
6. Be present. This one is huge. Eckhart Tolle wrote a whole book about this so I cannot re word it to its entirety; however the more you are present and fully experience each moment the more fulfilled you will be. You will not need to keep running around looking for something that may not exist. The more tasks you can complete to make more money to pay more bills to try to spend more time with family once you make more money will never end. In fact that’s us running in a hamster wheel our whole life. Be present. Be mindful, and enjoy.
7. The more your love yourself the more you will be loved. I had to include this one. Take time to do your hair, makeup, nails. Other people will appreciate that you are happy with you. You are your best company. And PLAN this! If you have to go somewhere – even grocery shopping and you have to cover your face so why put on lipstick?? Well.. you are doing it for you. You feel good, you smell good, and you end up walking differently when you love yourself.

 
In the end it all comes down to you. How you feel and how you behave towards yourself will be a reflection on other people of how they perceive you. I hope this helps you open your mind to these steps above are possible, and are attainable if you plan. Let me know if you do any of these already I the comments down below or if you would like to know more about my morning routine.
 
Xoxo Maria Kuna